Today while reflecting on things that took place earlier this week I was listening to Jeremy Camp's song Walk by Faith. I found this song to be a good reflection on what I'll be writing about next. So that plug being placed let's get into the real discussion.
Throughout the last few weeks and even into last month a lot had been floating in my mind about if I'm in the right place or not. A lot had happened at school, and suddenly I wasn't so sure that this was where I wanted to be, and if it was were I was supposed to be. I felt like God was putting these thoughts into my head for a reason, and so I started to pray about it. I prayed long and hard and even got the opportunity to talk to others about what I was going through. I found great support in the friends and community that God had surrounded me with.
After much searching in prayer I decided to look at some scripture and see what it had to say about God's plan for my life. One that I found particularily interesting stated: "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11). Duh! Of course God has a plan for my life. How could I have forgotten that? Not only that but he has a plan to give me a future and to give me hope. AMAZING! The fact that this seemed to fit so perfectly towards what I needed to read seemed almost too good to be true. Then I kept reading and I came across this one and it said: "A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps" (Proverbs 16:9).
Once again this seemed like too perfect of a bible verse. I started to pray asking God to guide my steps to take over this process and thoughts that are running through my head. If it is your will and what you want me to do, then help me God! To side track slightly it should be noted and made perfectly clear that at this point the idea in my head was to transfer schools, and to transfer to NDSU, a place I had applied, been accepted, and declined, earlier. Suddenly it wasn't a question of whether I would transfer, but more of a how would I break it to my parents. I was scared. It would be the first time my parents would hear that one of the kids was having second thoughts or that one of the kids was suddenly changing their mind on school, but it was just that fact that it had happened that made me afraid. I kept telling myself I couldn't do it, but I knew I had to.
So at this point the time had come, and I had to let it known one way or the other. Now to make a long and emotional story short I orginally hinted at it to my mom. She got really upset at me (later telling me that it was actually her displacing other anger towards me). When I was "asleep" (half asleep) she told my dad that I wasn't sure about school anymore. This made it sound more like I wanted to quit than that I wanted to just transfer. So when it came time for someone to take me to the grocery store to get food for the next few weeks and my dad volunteered I knew that it was because he wanted to talk about this. I was nervous, but I asked God just to help me and to give me the strength just to let the facts be known.
Suddenly the time came and my dad flat out asked what was on my mind as far as school. I told him I was thinking of transferring out. At first he seemed confused asking if I was thinking of another major or just another school and I informed him that just another school and that I was set on NDSU. I then told him before anything else could be said that this wasn't just me doing something without thinking. I told him all the prayers and talks and considerations that I had had over the last few weeks. To my surprise he said "ok." Ok? Is that it? No yelling at me? No getting angry? What? Oh God I know you helped me on this one I thought. My dad gave me his full support and before I left I was able to give him a hug and tell him I loved him and thank him. If God wasn't part of this working I can't explain it.
So what was the point of this story? Just for me to vent and write? No, of course not I've always got a reason to my works. See I wanted to share a story in my life that really represents and shows that we can always go to God for help in our problems. That God has plans for our life (as stated earlier) and that He is able to give us hope for our future. I know that I am stoked for what God has ahead of me at NDSU and the new challenges that await. I also know that I have support up there in my friends Lucas and Kelly. I know that God has a reason for bringing me to this new community and I look forward to it. I wanted to leave you with one last verse that really sums up my reason for writing and what God really wants us all to know and be able to do: "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass ... Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him." (Psalm 37:4,7) Blessings on your week and your journey ahead. Put your trust in God and go to him in times of need. One love, one heart, one God.
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